thanks. I know it's unhealthy. my mind is just messed up. I don't know how to stop thinking of her. It's like an addiction.

I tried several therapists but it didn't feel good. my teacher was great and I talked with her about my problems. when i go to a therapist, i compare her to my teacher and that's not right.

when you have someone in your mind all day for 3 years, it's not easy to quit. I feel like an alcoholic that needs her alcohol. But I think that this is much harder. When you are addicted to something like drugs or drinks, you can avoid it. But you can't stop your brain and quit thinking.

She is the only person in my life that I have truly loved. (and I still do, I always will) She was the only person that made me feel important and not worthless. It's so tough.