I'm feeling so horrible. I am 19 years old, what if I live for 60 more years? Without her ? Every day feels like a battle. I can't explain how much she means to me. How on earth am I going to let her go and get her out of my mind, since this stuff is going on for 3 years? I'm so desperate and the tears well up when I write this. My heart feels so broken. I want her to get out of my head but I am trying that for years. I'm just so crazy and insane. I feel like a complete idiot. My old classmates are probably never thinking about her anymore. Like it should be. I am so jealous at her husband. He is the luckiest guy on earth and doesn't probably even realise it. Why am I not him? I feel also so pathetic because there are people who have much bigger problems and might be thinking that i'm just being stupid but I feel like there is no world without her.

Why am I like this? And why did she fill my heart with so much love? If she wasn't so amazing I would not have this problem. I read on the internet that I must think in a bad way about her, but I just can't. She's an angel and has done nothing wrong.

And you know what the worst thing is? My dad died when I was 13, but I never missed him so much as I miss my teacher. How horrible is that?