Quote:
Originally Posted by Webgoji
That's the thing, there's a ton going on here. Attachment, transference just to name a few. And they're strong. Mentally you've created an image of your teacher as being a source of happiness. You've overinflated her good qualities and frozen that image of her in your mind. Basically you aren't seeing the real her anymore.
A good therapist should be able to help you talk through these issues so you can see her in the correct light and move on.
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It's true what you said, thank you. The thing is that I don't trust people and I have had some bad experiences with therapists. Also it costs money and I don't have a lot, so it's a big risk to go in therapy again.
I think you're right when you say that I have frozen a image of her in my head. I wish I had a friend in real life where I could talk to instead of an expensive therapist. But I don't have them and also no family to talk about my issues. It's really sick but I have conversations with my teacher IN my head. I know it's not real , it's not like i'm schizophrenic or something. But I close my eyes and talk to her, like she's there. I'm so pathetic. I hate myself even more when I write this.