Hi Miss Laura
Lim sorry to hear about your current circumstances. This is not easy.

I kind of recon my moods most certainly change with every season although for me there is no dx but after many years I know it certainly exists.

Sleep is quite an issue for me at the moment too. It's like a trap cycle. I'm depressed and anxious so I wake up frequently during the night. Which means I don't enter the deep sleep phase. Which leaves me more crabby and irritable the next morning, hence repeating the cycle.

I'm sorry you're feeling this way about your meds. I think in the long run they may be helping you. However, all medication can come with side effects that's why it's important to keep the channels of communication open and honest with your mental health providers.

A few years ago when I was going through a bad phase I had extremely paranoid thoughts too. The one day when I was home alone someone rang my doorbell. I honestly thought it was a baddie coming to kill me. So I rang the equivalent of 911. Needless to say they didn't send anyone out ...

If I were to be genuinely honest with you, I understand your fear that someone is watching your flat - it is a symptom of what you are going through at the moment. As much as we can all sit here and tell you no one is watching your flat (because I really believe no one is) it would be hard for you to accept until you are better.

Wishing you a speedy recovery.