Hey your thread title caught my attention. I'm in a kind of similar but also different situation. I won't go on too,much about myself but I have been completely obsessed with a rockstar for 2 and a half years. I can't say how much he means to me either, he's been my everything, the reason I keep living, the thing that keeps a smile on my face. Deep down I knew he'd never be mine, but if still dreamed about it and kind of convinced myself he knew who I was form messages I leave him and that maybe he secretly loves me too. Yeah, I'm crazy.

Anyway, that's just a little background. I've had some negative comments from other fans about how I go on I towards him and that I need to seperate my fantasies from reality. So I've just started working on that. I have to do it myself though, I've never told my doctors about any if this. One thing I've been doing is filling my day and my thoughts with other things. It's hard when I'm so used to thinking about him 24/7 but I try do other things I enjoy, like read and watch DVDs and youtube videos and stuff, just think about those things instead of him. I mean it had got to the stage where I couldn't even read cos I'd have to keep stopping to think about him.

I hope this might be helpful to understand the why behind all this, for both of us. You say you've been let down before? Well I know for me, the reason I've latched onto him is precisely because he's just a fantasy. I c an imagine I whatever I like about him, imagine him as the perfect guy who is crazy in love with me. Also I know that he can never personally reject me, cos he doesn't actually know me (of course if he did he would love me!) I joke about that but I still hope..

So I was thinking, maybe in your situation, even though you know her, you only knew her as a teacher, so not really personally or as who she really is. Cos she'd put on a teacher persona like. I just wonder if the same kind of thing is going on for you? Also she can't personally reject you for you, because she is in a position of authority so that stops her from being with you anyway, so you don't have to take it personally.

Maybe because you've been let down before, she fills a kind of void in your life? I know this guy has for me. It becomes dangerous when,you start feeling so bad about it to consider suicide, and that obviously worries me. I have thought a few times what's the point in living if I can't have the one person I love? I just hope one day, hopefully soon, you will find someone you can be with and who will love you for you , and that's you'll be happy. There are always more people out there, I know it must hurt you can't have her but she doesn't have to be the only one you'll ever love. I hope I haven't offended or said anything wrong here, I just want to help. I'm going to read back over your posts now to see if I can add anything more. The most important person here is you and your happiness. Take care.