So, we've finally figured out my perfect medicine combination, and I'm pretty stable. One problem. Nights.
I hate nights. I'm single, now, and - although I'm okay with it - I cannot stand nights. I get so cold and lonely and sad. I hate, HATE it. I hate sleeping alone. I miss cuddling. I don't know how to cope with such feelings of loneliness. I mean, I cry myself to sleep. The only way I get to sleep is by thinking of my best friend - who I'm in love with. Freaking awesome. I love him, and I want to sleep with him, again (LITERALLY, sleep, NOT the other kind of "sleep with"...). He doesn't know that I love him. I think it's best that way.
But I hate nights. I hate the dark. I hate the cold. I hate the loneliness. I hate not being held. I hate not having someone to hold. I hate not being able to cuddle. I hate not being able to talk. I hate this.
Yeah, this is pretty much a rant thing, and it's so freaking depressing that I may have to put a trigger icon on it, but I have to get this out.
I tried chat rooms, but everyone's so light-hearted in there tonight, and I don't need to bring them down with my depressing thoughts. I just want to cry. It's horrible. I just... I don't know what else to say.
I just hate being alone.
I hate this. So much.
So, here's to strength and comfort for all of you out there sleeping alone, too!