I am not even sure I can articulate this.... How can I work with the constant noise in my head? It's funny that I am even typing this because I've had this dx since 2006 i think. But lately, the internals are all talking to themselves or about me or to me while I'm trying to teach! And I just want to yell WILL YOU ALL SHUT UP!!?!?!?! Unreal. We've been through "I'm the one up front when I teach." Yeah yeah... they say... you shouldn't have taken this job in the first place. You PROMISED your treatment team you wouldn't work this semester." Ok, but that doesn't change the point that right now I'M TEACHING.... "So? I told you you shouldn't have." THenI get distracted because of all the noise and miss whatever the kid just read or wrote or said.... I get that I wasn't supposed to teach... and now am teaching not one, but two kids... I get that no one else in the system is able to work and ometimes feel like they HAVE to work my job because I am unable - and we're working on figuring out why sometimes I'm unable; if that is true, or if something happened that had one of them come forward (like today was a hard day and I am in a day treatment program and left early due to panic), or what ever is keeping me out of the driver seat.... But The whole time i kept thinking "please don't let me lose it now.... not now.... just a little longer... hold it together a little longer....