I showed up to my appointment today and my T was hurt. She had sprained her ankle really badly earlier in the day, and had tons of bandaids covering her hands, and she said she had scraped up her knees, too. And her ankle was on a chair, elevated on a pillow. She also said she was going to the ER after my session. I don't know why, but that has me really shocked in some way. Shocked isn't the right word, though. Maybe just worried or shaken up? I don't know.

Also, I dissociated horribly during my appointment. My T brought up some abuse stuff I had written in my journal, and it caused the worst episode of dissociation ever. It was so bad, the room was fading away to white. Normally, things get blurry and out of focus, but I've never nearly lost consciousness (or whatever was going to happen...maybe a flashback? Or maybe just a comatose state?). It was weird. I couldn't really see, the clock sounded SO loud, and I could barely hear my T. I managed to stay barely "there" by focusing on my bracelet and twirling it around, and thinking about my feet on the ground and my body on the couch.

It was such a weird session.