Lightcatcher, one method is just focus on life outside. Be indifferent to trauma stuff. The method works because when you try to not think about the elephant, as you say, you end up thinking about elephant. You become preoccupied with it. You close down, and the elephant becomes your focus. Except you try not to think of elephant. But to not think of it, it means you're already thinking of it! Confusing enough, lol?

So the method is to keep your focus on the goal and let the distractions come and go, like a driver who has to drive despite distractions all around. Imagine biking or driving. You can see stuff on the side of the road, but where you going, to pick up your girlfriend or boyfriend or children or parents? Well, you focus on the road there, what you guys wanna do today, what to talk about, the smile on their faces, etc. Of course you will see stuff on the side of the road but if you try not to look at the side of the road, you're more likely to have an accident cause you already become distracted with thoughts about that, no? So just focus ahead. If you see stuff on the side, so be it. Bring your focus back on your meeting point, back on love, back on life, back on goal, and let other things come and go...