Are you sure you aren't just angry with T?
I haven't cancelled with this T but I did with the last one after she cancelled on my for 3 weeks straight. It was anger, revenge for sure.
I have decided that when I feel the urge to cancel is when I really really need to make sure I go. Those are the times I might walk in and say I want points for just showing up. When I have made myself go, I am always glad I have.
ECHOES
P,S, I just got my Amazon order that includes "In Session", "The Gift of Therapy" (Yalom), "inside Therapy", (Rabinowitz), and "Between Therapist and Client" (Kahn) and I can't wait to get to them, especially "In Session". Thanks for recommending that one!