Hello - and I hope everyone is having quiet and peaceful day.

I'm in an emotionally/mentally abusive marriage, but am holding my own. So far, things have levelled off and I don't think I'm in any danger.

I do have a question about controlling behavior though - for anyone that may know.

I had decided several months ago to stop dying my hair and letting my white grow in. I was given full support for this by him. Yesterday I needed to inform him that I really wanted to go back to dying my hair. I had to tell him because if I don't and just buy a dye when we go out, it will start a scene out at the store that I don't want. (anyone that knows of my situation knows that I can't get out to any stores in town on my own - and only get out once a week WITH him).
He didn't get "mad" but he got strangely upset. "I thought you were going to embrace your age" he said. And I tried to tell him I felt really bad about myself and felt ugly. He didn't seem to want to let it go, like I was doing something wrong to him. I asked if it was about the money and he said no - it was that "I thought we agreed to embrace our age together..."

It was so strange.

Does anyone have any idea why me going back to dying my hair would cause him to get so upset? I'm 49 and having 3 inches of white coming in makes me feel so horrible about myself - I'm just not ready to let it come in. Why does he want me to be old????? It's not like I am going out - I never go out - no one ever sees me - so why should it matter? But it's how I feel about myself. Why doesn't he want me to try and feel at least a little bit better about myself??

No matter what he says - I'm dying my hair this weekend.

Hugz all.