My husband is always negative .. and complains all the time - although he doesn't perceive that he complains. But it sounds like complaining to me. Most of the time I can ignore it but there are times when I am low or just really needing reassurance from him .. and he complains .. and then I'm devastated or feel hopeless.

I don't have any helpful advice - I wonder many times myself as to what can I do. I suspect that the person who has to change is myself. I have to change how I react. And I have to not be so dependent upon another person's acceptance - even when that person is my husband. But I find that easier to say then actually put into practice. I don't think anyone can "make" another person change. This is just how he is.

Sorry I couldn't be more helpful except to say I have a similiar situation.