similar situation.

first 14 years of my life (he started on me at 6 months old) my father abused me in many ways including sexually, and I am a male.

what I did, was in hindsight very difficult to do. (with the crappy way I was raised, I didn't know any better than to do this.) when was in my 30's I once asked him point blank about it. he told me he was molested as a child, and "Enjoyed the hell out of it". when I pressed him as to "what male member of the family" did that to him, he remained silent telling me that it wasn't a male member of the family. (my guess is either a female member of the family, or a babysitter). I then asked him "what made you think I would enjoy it?" and again he had no answer.

the entire discussion was not remorseful, or all that informative. he never admitted sorrow, nor asked for forgiveness.

me being the man I am on the other hand, I forgave him to his face. not for him, but for me. yes this still affects me, and I have become almost completely reclusive because of this and other issues, but the anger is now gone for the most part.

everyone should already know that when you forgive someone even if they never hear it your forgiveness is never for the other person, it is for you. just the act, and the words if truly believed can free you from some of the lingering effects of the harm done to you, and allows you to continue on with the trauma taking up less space so to speak.