More like I wasn't really afraid or scared. Just numb like usual. A bit of anxiety at first but I settled down pretty quick. More like I was anxious because my mom was a wreck. I feel like a bit of it is my fault and that I could had done a bit more. Though it's weird because I feel a bit closer to her after this in a way. Like I feel we are more alike than I realized.

My sister tried to kill herself last night.

I kind of want to talk to her and tell her that I went through the same stuff. Overdosing and all that. Is it weird that I feel closer to her over something bad like this? The feel that I am not as alone as I thought. Not sure how to comfort her though. I feel like the more I open up about myself the worse I am probably making her feel. Not sure.

Does it seem like I don't care if I don't cry is what I was thinking to myself while at the hospital until 5 am. My mom cried. Her husband cried. Though I didn't cry. My other sister didn't cry either. Maybe I sort of knew it was gonna be okay? Though I couldn't give comforting words like I wanted because I suck at social stuff and tend to just *be there.*