I would love to hear how other folks get through feeling you don't deserve to have people be nice to you. I worked on it forever in therapy, but apparently the lesson didn't stick.

Somebody has offered to do something for me that will really help me out of a jam, and it was a completely unsolicited offer and made in all sincerity and genuineness. It took me a day to accept it, and I feel like a complete schmuck for doing so.

I've been able to separate out so far that some of it is pride -- I'm fiercely independent and can't stand having to rely on others. That I can't take care of this for myself is wounding my pride. It spirals into the negative self-talk of what a complete frickin' loser I am precisely *because* I can't take care of it for myself, and how much more this person has achieved than me, blah blah blah. I have a thread in Depression about something similar, and I was encouraged to know that it gets better as you get older, but I'm plenty old (42) and I still feel like a waste of time, space and DNA for not having achieved what I set out to do, and I'm still apparently incapable of not comparing myself to others.

I start with a new T the 23rd -- I guess this will be our first topic? The only thing is, I keep thinking about how let down my last T would be if he knew I still failed at this, after all the work we did on it. Then I feel even worse!

Ideas/suggestions/helpful hints most welcome.....

Candy