I am in a very similar situation with my T. Lately it feels like she's frustrated with me for not trusting her still and for not being able to tell her things (I keep a lot to myself). Also she got colder and pushed me away big time! I, as you, feel longing and miss her and want to fix things, so she could act like she did before but all I do is act in a way that it will really make her frustrated, angry,.. I am acting in a way that she would terminate me - it would kill me if that happened...

I can't really offer you any advice or anything but I just wanted to say I understand.
*hugs*