Of course everybody's situation is different, but speaking for myself, I was the member of the family that everyone got to dump on, and I eventually realised that I felt really guilty if I did anything to upset them, while they didn't give one damn about how rude they were to me. And that, basically, they weren't going to change. All the time they could mentally kick me, they would. And enjoy doing it!

So now, I don't have too much to do with them. I no longer feel the slightest guilt about responding in kind to their negativity. But I think its funny- the shocked look on their faces when I first started to stand up for myself. Like the dog had learned to talk!

Sometimes, to get yourself sorted, you just have to learn to say, "xxxx you, I don't need this, and I'm out of here."

Well, that's just my opinion. Good luck.