[quote=Kiya;4121733]I am not even sure I can articulate this.... How can I work with the constant noise in my head? It's funny that I am even typing this because I've had this dx since 2006 i think. But lately, the internals are all talking to themselves or about me or to me while I'm trying to teach! And I just want to yell WILL YOU ALL SHUT UP!!?!?!?! Unreal. We've been through "I'm the one up front when I teach." Yeah yeah... they say... you shouldn't have taken this job in the first place. You PROMISED your treatment team you wouldn't work this semester." Ok, but that doesn't change the point that right now I'M TEACHING.... "So? I told you you shouldn't have." THenI get distracted because of all the noise and miss whatever the kid just read or wrote or said.... I get that I wasn't supposed to teach... and now am teaching not one, but two kids... I get that no one else in the system is able to work and ometimes feel like they HAVE to work my job because I am unable - and we're working on figuring out why sometimes I'm unable; if that is true, or if something happened that had one of them come forward (like today was a hard day and I am in a day treatment program and left early due to panic), or what ever is keeping me out of the driver seat.... But The whole time i kept thinking "please don't let me lose it now.... not now.... just a little longer... hold it together a little longer.... [/quote

Right now I have to work to make money. I am having a lot of trouble being who I need to be at work. It sometimes helps us if I explain to everyone that we are working to make money so we can get food we like or to pay for the heat or buy a gift for someone we love, etc. If they have a good reason for us having to work they will most times let me work. I still have to leave early sometimes or call in sick. But telling them what we need the money for helps them to want to help. Than when we pay a bill or buy some food they all like I remind them we did this from the money we made at work. Hope something we said helps. Take care.