I have been w/ my boyfriend for 4 yrs and we lived together 3 out of the 4. The last yr we got into a big fight and he moved and got his own apt. Nothing changed because we still wanted to be together so we stay back and forth at his apt and mine w/ keys to each others place. We are a mature couple in age I am late 30's he is late 40's. He has two teenagers from a previous marriage and a toddler from another woman (long story). The teenagers treat me like crap when they come visit. Their visits are not consistent because their mom is bitter and does not support consistent visits. They haven't come for almost a yr because she refused to drive them half way and stick to the court order as they live 4 hours away. The main issue is this... the last time his kids came his daughter goes out of her way age 12 going on 30, but very tall 5'11 and the size of a woman to constantly accidentally step on my feet when we walk, elbow me when she's passing me, when he and I are holding hands she'll come up next to him and try to pull his other arm. Basically typical petty teenage stuff. But where I draw the line is when she last visit a yr ago tried to tilt the couch and knock me off twice, did not warn me, say excuse me please get up, nothing. My neck hurt for 3 days as the unexpected tilt knocked my head back and forth. I told her dad and she got a talking to but she still does something along those lines every visit. She also has a teenage brother who ignores me, gives me the cold shoulder basically, and doesn't respond when I talk to him pretending he didn't hear me. It causes my BF and I to have tension we don't have when they're not with us, and I don't want to live my life with mean step kids. Most recently behind my back, he made plans for them to come for the holiday without discussing it with me. I am the caregiver for his toddler who recently came to live with him. And we basically live as a family and have never missed a holiday together. I felt disrespected that he would make plans for them to stay with us without discussing it knowing I am miserable every time they come. Due to being abused with so called accidental hits/bumps, and given the silent treatment. I want him to see the kids but I felt a whole week without addressing previous issues was force feeding us all to be together. And I would have a miserable holiday. I didn't mind if he chose for them to come. The disrespect was to make plans for a holiday without talking to me about it. I could have made other plans and gone to visit my relatives out of state. Despite my concerns he picked them up anyway, and I have stayed away at my house, as I am not up for the mistreatment. Now we haven't seen each other for 4 days and I have not seen his toddler who I care for on a daily basis. I think it is selfish for him to put the older kids first, not caring if his toddler who I have a very loving relationship with misses me or I him. Basically, I sent him a letter telling him my hurts and pains and he basically said I understand how you could feel and nothing else. No apology or open door to discuss it. In the letter I did basically say we will not be spending holidays together this year or anything else, so that could also be why he didn't have much to say. It's so much more but too much to type. Am I wrong for not wanting to spend my holiday getting dogged out? I work a lot and my off days are precious. I just wanted to have a peaceful few days off for the upcoming holiday, When they come I am so sad and anxious.