I hope you can find encouragement in knowing that you’re not alone in feeling all these things. I feel them also and couldn’t have described it better than this. It’s taken me a very long time just to begin to learn to deal with my emotions and with me, I have to stop and ask myself if it means enough to worry myself about it. No matter how out of control life feels, I have to remember that only I can control how much I let any emotion be bothersome to my day.
Sometimes it’s hard to motivate myself into getting out of bed. Sometimes I really have to be in a giving mood to get it accomplished, but I allow myself to have the days where I mega-fail and spend the rest of the day hibernating in a less stressful way. We deserve to treat ourselves occasionally. It’s good to allow yourself to enjoy recovery from failures as well. I’m not a doc by any means, but I know that ideas are helpful. Take each day as its own and deal with them one at a time. Best wishes for you!