Thank you both. (Hi Nicole, if you remember me from my first post here at PC a few weeks ago - I did look up that author and have learned so much from her.)
(Alison - thank you so much - I have something kindof funny - he has and does sometimes say that I am beautiful ... but it ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS comes out like this ... "you're my wife and you're beautiful". He likes to say that "you're my wife" - he uses it in fights, I compliments, and always before things like I love you)

It's true what you both say. It was such a strange reaction. And it seems so unreasonable. I wondered if it was because I have to rinse my hair into a container because we have a septic tank that we don't like to put chemicals in - and he used to carry the heavy container outside to pour it out ... but I stopped expecting him to do that and do it myself now ... so it couldn't be that. And the brand I use is the cheapest and I buy it on sale - it costs next to nothing in the grand scheme of things.

I just found it so weird.

Right now we are in the "honeymoon" phase of the cycle of abuse. He's been very sweet and in good spirits, but I can also see that it is almost exhausting for him to be nice like that and I can actually feel the tension building building. I expect any day now that I will utter a word that sets him off and I'll get to enjoy some of his "crazy making" power.

But thank you again. I find a lot of comfort and strength in knowing this community is here - a place where I can come and have a few rally around and tell me that NO I'M NOT CRAZY, and no, I DON'T DESERVE THIS.