Hi

I'm a 28 year old male. I've been single for all of my life. It's a long story, but I'm quite introverted and never been able to date women... Anyhow, to make it short, I've always had these romantic images of how a life should be, that I should be together with someone who shares my interests; that for life to be acceptable, you have to share it with someone. I've got a lot of friends, some of them really close, but it's not the same.
My big problem is that I'm so short. 160 cm, it's always been the biggests problem in my life, very few women could accept to be with such a short guy. I'm not fat, probably normal of stature (54 kg).
Now I'm getting old, soon I'll be 30, and it feels like its getting too late. People in my age is getting married, and with no experience, I'm not good at talking to women in this way. I have some female friends, well I'm probably the typical "friend zone"-guy.
Now I'm getting bald, as things weren't bad enough. I'm thinking about shaving my head and getting some tattoos to "compensate".

Actually, the thing I would like to ask you about: I have to face the fact that I might have to be alone for the rest of my life. But how should I handle this? It make my life feel pointless, it drains me of all hope, all joy. I've been depressed because of this for almost 10 years. Ive been to 3 different therapists, I've tried medication (I'm on Venlafaxine right now). I've tried mindfulness, I meditate every day. I'm reading all sorts of self-help books and psychology, I'm quite conscious of how my thoughts work, how anxious I am in social situations (because of my loneliness, I'm very insecure). I'm doing exercise. I started to play guitar to improve my self-esteem, I play in bands.
But none of this can make life seem worth it. When I feel the worst, I take some drugs or alcohol and cut myself, it releases some of this tension. But I'm so sick of all this grief, of every day having to be a fight against hopelessness. I've been thinking about suicide for years, and now I'm beginning to feel I won't have any other choice.

I'm trying to write music, in order to find some value in life, but it hasnt worked, probably because I'm driven by such desperation. I can't feel true joy in anything, because my future is such a threat. Mindfulness is supposed to help against these thoughts, but so far it hasnt. Medication hasnt helped yet, neither has therapy. How will I be able to cope with life that feels so empty?