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I know that feeling well, not having any real friends, I used to make up whole worlds in my head to live in, such a nicer place than the real world.
I know you don't live in the USA but if you did a quick internet search there might be some peer support groups in your area, I know for me they were really a life changer. I met people who I could connect to, who didn't judge me and even made a few friends.
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“If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. ... We need not wait to see what others do.” Gandhi
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