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Anxious Minds · Nov 26, 2014, 01:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mefisto

Its not about taste. I think i am truly unattractive person. There are too much flaws in my personality that i can't fix at the moment. The thing is - i tried really hard with her, i did my best, i showed her my most good qualities (without lying about anything) and did a great job to hide my worst. And still it wasnt enough to attract her. And its hard to understand my mistakes, i was pretty confident and made her laugh a lot, touched her a few times and it looked like she liked it. Maybe i should have kissed her, but i thought it too soon for 1st date. I don't know what is so repulsive about me. I hate myself so much right now. And this feeling can't be a reason, because i didn't show her it in any way, as i said i was extremely positive and confident the entire time.

Sorry to hear you're going through such a rough time. The part about your best friend and girlfriend is crazy. I can't imagine how betrayed you must feel about that.

I did want to mention what I see in this particular post. You feel like you are an unattractive person, and it sounds like because you believe that you try to make up for it by showing this girl how confident and positive you are. It's almost like you put on a mask because you don't want this girl to see how unattractive you think you are. And on some level, I'm willing to bet that the people you date can sense that. We can always tell when what someone is thinking isn't matching what they are doing. That can cause us to be a little untrusting and wary, because we'll think they are trying to hide something (which always makes us think the worst).

I hate to say "be yourself" because it's so cliche, but I think the key is being authentic. You don't have to always be positive and confident.