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Originally Posted by elin95
@ stbguy wow our stories sounds so much alike!
That must be really horrible that she treats you like that. I think that she just couldn't handle it and did not know how to react.. Have you ever talked to someone in your real life about this?
I think we should stop emailing each other. Because those emails are my life and it feeds the obsession. But then it feels like i lost her completely. And i love it so much to hear what's she's doing in life. but when I go on further this way, I'll be still obsessed when I am 80.
I try to bring some positive thoughts out of the whole situation. There are so many million people in the world, and I'm one of the lucky few that had her in my life for a couple of years. If I made one different step in life, like going to another school, I wouldn't know that she even exists! I'm happy that she brought so much joy in my life.
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I have spoken to a couple of close people. They have shed quite a bit of light on the situation for me. If not for them I would still blame myself 100% for everything that happened and still believe it was all me and that I am some kind of monster.
I was forced by my loved one to stop contacting her, by her ignoring me. I would also love to know what she is doing in her life, but I can't even because she doesn't want anything to do with me
. That's the worst. It feels like I keep losing her again over and over every time I just think about her. I wish I had never told her I love her, because we would then still at least be chatting. But, I think she would've realized something eventually, if someone she hasn't seen in 5, 10 or 20 years still phones her regularly. Secrets are always bound to come out.
You are so right. If it were not for her, I would never even have known I could feel actual love. Also, I didn't even know girls like her existed until I met her. I thought girls were all the same until she showed me otherwise.