Hey Allme,

I am sorry you are troubled by your circumstances. You are a very strong person to come here and share and ask for advice and understanding. And you are very insightful! From reading your post - it's amazing to read how you write about your experience as though you are your own therapist! You definitely have what it takes to do what is best for your relationship.

I think you should give yourself some slack. I know how it can be when we make mistakes and we come to realize that we have reacted poorly in a situation. However, the issue here isn't that you made the mistake. I say this because you have already taken full responsibility for any mistakes you have made. You are fully aware that you could have done differently. That is amazing and you should congratulate yourself on that.

The issue - is that you continue to beat yourself up for it.

Here's some insight that may help you: I know that when I am sick - I don't want to be around anyone. It hurts to talk, it hurts to look up and I especially hate the feeling of others in my proximity when I am feeling ill. Even when people are in the same house - I feel aches and pains from sounds of doors and televisions. Stimulation makes me worse when I am sick. Intense nausea to me is the worst form of torture - and it takes a ton of effort just to listen to others talk. In saying this - just know that your husband not wanting you around while he is sick - is something that I know to be valid - from my own experience with being ill. Perhaps it is different for you and it makes it harder to understand. It is normal for people to isolate and hide when they are sick - plus it keeps them from getting you sick too.

Here's a way to make up for it:

Next time your husband is sick (or better yet; if he is still sick) - bring him some soup, some Kleenex or whatever suits the illness. But especially - bring him a blanket and put it on him nicely. Do this as a surprise - and don't say anything major unless he speaks to you first.

*The idea is to provide comfort - no drama *

Then leave the room.

Only come back to him if he asks for you or if you absolutely must enter the room - but definitely create a buffer of time - so that he will most likely come to you.

I hope all is well,

HD7970ghz