Rainbow - do you think that it is related to how your expression of feelings growing up was received? It makes a lot of sense to me, regardless, for you to feel like crying since sending her the email. You expressed very meaningful feelings and you don't know how your T will respond. Plus, you said she won't say it back. That's hard in and of itself.

Your post made me think about how I feel about my T (I do care about him) and how it is very hard for me to share those feelings with him. So I don't. And why is it so hard for me? It just made me wonder aloud to myself how my parents responded to that part of me.....and I'm gonna have to ponder if it's at all related...

Thank you for your post, rainbow. And for your ability to take such a big risk with your T. It's ok that you are feeling vulnerable. It makes so much sense in the context of all the things you have going on right now and with the holidays. Take care