If there was a foolproof and peaceful method readily available then I would have done it. One of my frustrations is that I cant find anywhere on the net where you can talk about such things. I would like to discuss my options but of course its against the rules of every forum I know of. Call me selfish I don't mind but I don't actually care how it affects anyone left behind. The only thing stopping me is the hope that things might get better. Now that is fading.