For me I do not feel its entirely a choice I'd be making rationally if I reach that place again(considering my situation remains the same/simular and I don't develop some terminal illness or something). It would be like a choice dictated by my brain chemistry/thought process doing unwanted things that make me feel so miserable and in pain I can't take it. I am actually afraid of reaching that state and being so overwhelmed and overtaken by it I would neglect to tell anyone or get help and thus would be likely to attempt.

The last couple times I felt that way I mentioned it to people and got a trip to the psych ward...but I guess at least I am not dead, can't say being in those places 'fixed' anything really but was better than just being left to my own devices while feeling suicidal I suppose. I don't really have any hope of things getting better which ups my anxiety since I know that can contribute to suicidal thinking...so trying to distract myself with intrests or things i like to the point of obsessing over those things so the hopelessness doesn't get to me.