StbGuy I can totally relate with all of it. I don't have the willingness needed to make the changes that I should be. I don't know why and I feel guilty about it. I wrote a post on here actually about it a while ago, and someone once told me (not in these exact words) that we can get so used to feeling and dealing with depression that it just becomes the normal. And then it just becomes scary to change. Hope that made sense.