Yes I've got one right now. And in some ways I think its ok for me to have it. You tell me if I have good reason to or not.

Starting out here. Hubby's family wants to give his parents a 50th wedding anniversary party AGAIN. We gave them a huge one for their 40th while both their moms were still alive. This is what they wanted. I mean we had like 500 people invited to this thing and gave $1000 each and there are 4 of us to this party. Not a light expense for hubby and I since we are on one income. Hubby talked to me about having this 50th WA party. And I shot it down. I dont feel that we need to do this again. I really dont. I think its asking alot for one reason. And another is I"d like to get some enjoyment out of some money that we are trying to save back by going on a vacation.

While hubby and I were in T last year. He agreed and I did too . That if I got a vacation planned ( which is part of it he doesnt like to do ) He would go. NO PROBLELM! This made me very happy, because I've seen too many people die young. Who didnt get to enjoy life. And I want to experience life!!! I have never EVER seen the ocean in my 39 yrs. I've been wanting to do this for 16 yrs now . And now I got this start on planning it , I cant tell you how excited and happy I am to know this is finally going to happen the end of August.

While I was in the ER a little over a week ago. I was trying to think about that. How much more I wanted to do this because of the not knowing where the chest pains I was having were coming from. I was scared for my life , I was discouraged because I may not ever get to see another one of my dreams come true. One of the things I am planning on is going to see Kenny Chesney in concert at Virginia Beach. So I asked Hubby whom has gone with me several times to KC's concerts the past 5 yrs , if he wanted to go or if he just wanted me and my frined to go. We will be staying with this friend while we are down there. He looked at me .. after all the talk about going on this vacation with him.. and said I didnt agree to go on this vacation. I didnt understand. He let me go on and on and on..about going on this vacation.. and now he's shot it down.. again.. just like every other time we've planned on doing this. So he snottishly said to me no I dont want to go to the concert. I was like fine.. I AM STILL GOING DOWN THERE WITH OR WITHOUT YOU! I stood my ground. I am not going to let him ruin this for ME. Selfish sounding or not. I AM GOING.

I talked to T about this situation. I started feeling a little bit guilty about going like that without my husband. He said that I shouldnt feel guilty because hubby agreed to go and he is renigging now. This is his problem now. T is encouraging me to go. I told him that I will have to get over my fear of flying now because I cant drive down there. He said why not? *T used to be a truckdriver so everything is drivable to him lol* He said its only a 9 hr drive there .. I could do that in a day. Mmmmmmmmk. Not sure about that one.. I get tired when I drive long distances. lol But the more we talked about this the more he was like Beth think about how empowering this is going to be for you. Think about how much this will help your self esteem and confidence in yourself. So I am gonna give hubby a deadline as to when he can decide if he is going or not. And if he decides he is not going... or not .. he cant renig on that decision. I am going regardless.

Sorry again that this is soo long. I know its alot of reading. But I guess I would like opinions on this. The good bad and ugly ones lol.

Thanks~
Beth

<font color="blue">Virginia Beach... here I come!!!!!! </font>