I hope when I said: I think I "might" be insightful, I don't sound narcissistic. I actually don't think of myself that highly (which is putting it lightly).

My therapist called me back Monday morning. (I am never good with phone conversations -- or real-life conversations in general.). My therapist said whatever I want to do is fine. But when I'm on the phone with her, I can never get a read on her sincerity and whether she gives a $@!%

I'm just finishing up a survey (of sorts) that I want to give her before I decide to go back to therapy, fully. They are basically "Yes/No" questions and "On a scale of 1 to 10" questions. (Such as: In an “emotional” sense, in your intimate self-awareness, on a scale of 1 to 10, how much do you personally still view yourself as my therapist? or On a scale of 1 to 10, how much reduction of stress have you felt because of my absence? There are compartively more "on a scale of 1 to 10" questions.

Hopefully this will make it not as laborious to answer them. I don't exactly feel like I'm her client at the moment, since I'm not officially seeing her right now - so asking her to answer this when she is not really being paid for it, well it is difficult for me to do. That doesn't at all mean she wouldn't joyfully answer my questions, that seems like my self-esteem issue.

Of course, some of them she might not want to answer, or answer them "completely truthfully" because it might suggest she doesn't care. My mind can twist things to reinforce my current state of self-loathing.

So I will drop it off on Wednesday. And after she sends the results back (I'm going to include a self-addressed stamped envelope so she can just pop it in the mail), I will make a decision on returning.