Great food for thought Skeezkys,

I guess that could be true that we have to come to that conclusion ourselves, which obviously would take some time. I am past middle aged and don't have much time left I don't think. Who knows? So I've spent almost 2 years now trying to recover and I don't think that magically I am going to wake up tomorrow all healed and happy. Really I have tried to keep a positive outlook about the whole thing, but it is really difficult as time drags on and nothing magnificent has happened.

I keep thinking that getting back to my 'spiritual' roots (cannot say what I really mean by that here evidently) and get with other like minded people would help me a lot. I tried that months ago but felt too freaked out to sit in an audience.

I keep saying that I need to talk to a therapist and I need to make more of an effort, plus there is the big money issue. I have to talk to someone, my sons would not want to hear that I am going through an existential crisis.