Quote:
Originally Posted by Bipolarartist
... But still with my minimalist tendencies a sense of chaos prevails.
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This semi-minimalist can totally relate. I'm drawn to it, can create it, BUT maintaining it? That's the hard part. I can't (and don't even try really) when I'm in the midst of a Project. My only focus is the THING. All the elements involved (tools, materials etc.) will get pondered, grabbed, flung according to their "rightness" in any given moment. In that hyper-focus I don't even see what is happening around me. At some stopping point though, the recognition could usually summed up by "holy cannoli…"
(Then yes, tidy up.)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bipolarartist
It's almost that I crave order but my brain finds this unacceptable and has make its internal chaos external. Maybe I crave external order to give the impression to the others in my life that everything in my brain is line with them and their sense of order.
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Hmmm. Now you've really got me thinking about this. I think my brain craves order because it is so scrambly, that in a mess, it just gets scramblier (What, that's not a word?
), and goes either to frantic confusion or shutdown. Also, I have to attention span of a gnat. If I can't just go to the place where something belongs, it's not just that I won't be able to remember what I was looking for. There's a good chance I won't even remember I was looking for anything(!)
I don't *think* I do it for other people (though will get in a cleaning frenzy if someone is coming over --not so much for them, but because it's very very rare, makes me very anxious, and when anxious, I clean…) The primary reason I think is needing it to be able to function. Without it --Confusion>panic overwhelm>shutdown (or meltdown depending on pressure level).
Oh, but back to maintaining. Since overwhelm slows, and bad depression can stop it in its tracks, I really try to stay on top of it when I can, because it's so easy to get in a paralyzing circle.
Does help that there is the motivation from being a visually-oriented person-- I'm hard-wired for the aesthetic!
(P.S. "Can't achieve it" is so very much the category paperwork falls under! Can.Not.Do! Ugh!)