Hi Candy,
I think it has more to do with low self esteem than with being independent. It almost sounds like you are blaming yourself for having low self esteem or "unworthiness". It's not your fault and you can learn ways to increase your self esteem some, I think. A lot of our self esteem is established as we are growing up so we may always be a little short changed in that area. That's my opinion, anyway. You do deserve good things.