I think you need to discuss this with a professional helper (a therapist). Your expectations are out of line. Most people can't win consistently. Languages and music do require talent and innate abilities - the idea that repetition and continuously applied effort would give you mastery is a mirage. Say, I am talented with languages and if I spend three years learning Spanish, I would have the vocabulary of a native speaker, but I do not have a musical ear and have fairly poor coordination, so three years of studying piano did not teach me anything. But I know these things about myself - that I have great abilities with non-tonal languages and no ability with music or tonal languages. With weights, it is about the structure of your muscles - if I try lifting weights, I also would remain weak. But I am flexible. So not strong, but flexible, and I know it about myself. And fast, but not strong.

So it is unclear why you continue persevering in wrong pursuits instead of finding what you are strong in.

Your writing is extremely vivid, however, and the most striking part of the whole thread is that you think of yourself as a cliche and of your writing as producing nothing but cliched characters. You are a highly unusual person - as far from a cliche as it gets. And your writing is not cliched. In this thread you have not depicted a fictional character, but still, I can bet that your characters are not cliched.

Once again, this is so complex that a professional would need to get involved. As I see it, you need to stop being involved in activities that you do not do well, recognize that you have writing abilities and focus on how to hone the writing skills to produce work that you'd feel proud of. Maybe writing seminars or meetups where you'd get critiques from other writers might help or possibly a college class on writing. Plus, you report having difficulties organizing your writing, but you can get help with this very typical concern of amateur writers. Your usage of idioms is stellar and with a little help with executive functions (planning, organizing, tracking progress, and the like) you have nothing to prevent you from publishing quality work.