Quote:
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. I have cried for hours thinking about how eventually she will get sick and die, even though she's only 4 years old and totally healthy.
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This part ^
Pets can be totally dependent on us, setting up the emotional triggers that lead to projection. Worried that she's not going to survive under your care made me wonder if that's how you felt as a little girl dependent on caregivers who were in fact inadequate.
That you cried for hours over what I quoted above is very telling...it might be your own disavowed pain.