Not feeling so well right now. I couldnt even come on here last night because the room was spinning. I hate looking in the mirror! Last night my bf went and got me something to eat, he was so worried. I ate it, more for him though. I dont want to worry him. I have not told him whats going on in this regard, but he knows. I have a throat infection from purging, its a mess. I could barely talk last night it hurts so much. So anyway, I ate this disgusting food and got sick. My throat is so raw it was bleeding. I feel so unsteady, it scares the heck out of me. But yet its just not that easy to eat a darn thing. I had to eat today to take my pills; I had a few crackers with some cheese. I feel so gross now. Why cant I keep this food inside? I hate this so much. and I dont like myself. I feel so ashamed, what am I doing to myself?

justy