Well it's almost 5 AM as I start writing this, haven't slept yet. I was supposed to cook the dinner... what I guess most people would call yesterday. It's not tomorrow to me until the sun rises, or I wake up, whichever comes first. Another night of searching for I don't know what, but I can never sleep until I'm either exhausted, or (in theory at least) until I find what I was looking for... which of course can't be found.

People were very understanding, well, no... the people I care about were very understanding. The others can take a long walk off a short pier. At any rate, I will make the dinner planned for yesterday today.

I wish I could say people being understanding helps, but it kinda doesn't. The feelings of nothing to live for, no reason to be, persist... no matter how many kind words or hugs. I don't know why they care about me. I'm grateful that they do, but I'll never really understand why. It's like they exist just to contradict me when I say no one cares, heh, but somehow it doesn't help.