First of all, thanks for your replies! Sometimes it feels like everybody else are just normal grown ups who know what they want and I am just a lost child, totally confused about work and life in general. In moments like these it's so great to just hear that somebody understands what you're saying!
You're totally right about my work, it's so embarrassing to admit that I in fact steal my working hours while still getting my paycheck

I work in a tech company where having flexible hours is considered a good thing, but for me this has become a free fall into just doing whatever comes to my mind and putting off my main tasks. I just have to take over this uncontrollable behavior and start to actually deliver consistently the work I am paid to do. I remember that for some time I was practicing meditating daily for at least 15 minutes and that actually improved my ability to control my impulses. So I think I absolutely have to start that practice again.
Also thanks for you book recommendations! I have found out recently about Barbara Sher's book (didn't read it though), and will try to read the other one too. And actually I think I really find some similarities with OCD and my behavior. So I will probably look into what techniques they have for managing obsessive patterns.