I kind of feel that I'm slowly building up skills in different areas. But that is happening really really slowly. And that is a lot of times the source of my frustration. And yes, it seems like I just can't finish anything.

One of my biggest questions lately has become "What am I actually trying to achieve with this?" Say I like painting. But do I paint every day just for the joy of the process? No. What I will do instead I will go to the internet and start reading about the techniques. Then I will go shopping for paints and canvas. The I will spend hours and hours looking at works of artists on the internet, trying to come up with references of the style and technique that I would like to do. Then I will actually try to do it. I will be most likely unhappy with the result, and maybe do everything I have just described once again. It all looks like I am actually afraid of the process, and afraid of the result, because a lot of the time I come from the assumption that my results will be "not good".

So why do I want it then? That is the question. It looks to me like some little child inside of me just wants to impress the world, but at the same time is not sure what exactly to do.