I'm sorry for being a little late to the topic, but I've been away due to my mother-in-law passing away.

However, I have read your thread and I completely understand how easy it is to lose confidence in yourself, your relationship, your sex life. They are all so much intertwined, and we all from time to time believe that one is a direct reflection of the others.

I don't want to say too much on the decision to marry or not, but at the very beginning of a life-long relationship with an already tenuous sex life will be difficult especially if you believe that your partner would likely sex satisfaction elsewhere. It can though, provide you both with the "one thing" that you both are "Working On", and could actually be something that binds you both together.

I find it a little difficult to understand why you are self-conscious of your penis. At 6" you are larger than the average (which is 5-5.5"). I personally have 5" and that's on a day I'm feeling generous. What I do see in your post is that you appear to have insecurities about your experience versus your partner's. You're believing that you can't do what her previous partners did. I went through a very similar stage, my wife had been previously married and had likely had 20+ sexual partners in her life. Me, on the other hand, I had only had sex about 12 times ever, but only twice with girls and the rest with guys. Talk about NOT knowing what to do with a women. My wife found it fun for the first couple of years, always taking the lead. I never did learn how to initiate and satisfy a woman. So as she became tired of this, sex became scarce since I really didn't get it.

To complicate matter, I injured my back at work and lost feeling in my feet, parts of my legs, as well as my penis and scrotum. At that point, my confidence as a man tanked...why even think about sex with my wife...I didn't know how to satisfy her with a working penis, how could I possibly do it without? I even got so down that I was seriously considering leaving my wife to find a guy to be with because I know I can satisfy a guy even without a working penis.

BUT, I didn't. I asked for help. I talked to a therapist and the one single most important thing she told me was that I didn't have to have an orgasm in order to be intimate and be satisfied sexually. You know...that's easy to say, but hard to understand. Believe me though...it took a long while to come to grips with it. My wife and I were at a point where sex occurred maybe 3-4 times a year. But one day, when conditions were good (no kids, no schedule) we managed to "mutually initiate" sex, and even though I couldn't feel or ejaculate, I had what I consider to be one of the best sex events of my life. I managed to put aside my worries and concerns and just focused on her. I could have gone for an hour, I was using my disability as an advantage, and my wife was completely satisfied as a result. This was a turning point for me.

I know that this topic is about you, but I wrote to convey that if one guy with a 5" penis, who can't feel it or always ejaculate, who's primary previous sexual experience was gay sex, can actually work through all that and remain in a faithful, committed and loving relationship for almost 20 years with his wife, then I have complete faith in your ability to do the same. We don't always see eye to eye on everything, but my life is better with her than without. I hope you can find the same.

Good luck.