Wow, you have a very good sense of yourself and how relationships work.
I know you are hurting.
I was so depressed because I tried so damn hard to make a marriage work, and he was cheating and abusive. It hurts to love someone. Damn hurts to be betrayed. I hear you.
Can you call her, and ask her straight out "Are you interested in seeing me again, I really enjoyed my time with you. Is there anything that I did or didn't do, that you would like to have been different on our date?" Just an example, and just trying to help you. Because you may have another hurt coming to get over, and you might as well get the answers.
Just my idea, I'm no expert on relationships, that is for sure.