Thanks so much guys. You are right, forgiveness is for your own sanity. Now that this whole thing has turned into a 'situation', it is like it has become an event! I have gone through shock, anger, denial and depression. The stages of grief. I have yet to get to acceptance. That is going to take a while.

My sister's behavior caused a rift in the whole family. It upset my dad and my sons, my family which is now separate from my sister's family ended up having a crappy thanksgiving day. Nothing seemed right, people were snapping at each other. The whole vibe was just awful and ugly. Even my daughter in law said that she felt it. How sad! I really did try to find some happiness and joy, playing with the grandkids, enjoying the food. Something weird happened when we sat down to eat, I don't know if I was just unhappy with the food situation or if just the whole mood was sour, but this awful feeling came over me as we started to eat. I guess things were not at all like I wished they would be. My son cooked the turkey but his mood was so foul for some reason, I had to keep after him to carve it. I am glad it's over for sure!!!

I decided that there must be some real pathology going on with my sister if she did not want my family around so badly that she felt the need to cause such hurt and drama. She had to know that it would. Even my poor elderly dad was upset and spent the day alone, visiting my mom's grave. It has just been a year since she passed away also.

This is going to be a rough holiday season for us all I fear. Why one person would intentionally cause a divide in a family? Obviously it is her sickness, not mine. She mentioned that she would be amenable to having us over at Christmas. Ha, fat chance. She has dealt a fatal blow to our relationship. Others can go to be with her but I will not. I wish it did not have to be this way. Truly sad.