I feel guilty for adopting my cat. I adopted her at the beginning of November, and I have felt guilty for it all month. I feel like I shouldn't have adopted a pet for my own enjoyment because that's selfish, and like I am not doing well at caring for her (although I'm doing as good as I can). I wonder if I hadn't adopted her, would she have gone to a better family eventually that took better care of her and spent more time with her? Am I the best owner for her? Do I have the best environment for her? Am I doing okay? Does she like me or dislike me?

It's also confusing to me that she seems to like me, because I don't see myself as very likable. So why does she show me affection and want to be near me? Does she feel forced into it? Does she tolerate me because I'm her only company? Does she wish she were somewhere else?

I have tried talking to my T about this stuff, but she seems confused about why I think this way. I have cried for hours thinking about how eventually she will get sick and die, even though she's only 4 years old and totally healthy. She's a wonderful cat and I don't feel like I deserve her. At the same time, I already can't imagine life without her. I have contemplated giving her back to the shelter where I got her so she has a chance at a better home, but I know that's irrational. It's just really confusing why I am feeling this way and what I should do.