I used to use music as a form of escapism still do I would put on something and pretend like I was something else entirely could be another person or some type of animal anything from a world leader I've actually pretended to be Theodore Roosevelt and few times I see the quote. I would use the music as a therapeutic release it doesn't work anymore not for sad feelings anyway it does seem to help a bit with the violent ones. It seems like everybody says it will get better and it just gets worse I know that I'm getting worse and I'm getting to where I'm scared of myself. The last good day I had was like 16 years ago when I was a little kid and even then most days were bad. Nothing seems to work anymore I tell my mom I need help but she doesn't listen try to talk to her and she always has to change the subject and talk about herself and some story from her childhood or she just gets mad at me. My sister doesn't believe in mental health issues she just thinks people want attention which I don't I hate when I'm the center of attention. I think sometimes that it can't get any worse but yet life always seems to prove me wrong.