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Originally Posted by ryanLRC2015
Sick of faking happiness and pretending everything is fine to other people. Most don't realize that when I am alone and even deep down inside I am very lonely and depressed. I tend to also have lots of anxiety and cry a lot more than people even realize. Wish there was a way I could communicate that to some people without them blowing me off. I have told a couple people but one person doesn't care. I told her I was feeling suicidal and she actually didn't seem to care and the other person is down a lot herself so I am afraid to bring her down more than she already is. I did open up and break down in front of them before but feel like they felt uncomfortable and the one who is depressed I feel like I just made her more upset. Wish I could feel happier. :'(
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I am sorry that you are feeling that way! I go through the same thing. For my job I have to smile all the time as I deal with clients all day every day. When I have time off, I normally stay alone as my husband works night shifts. When I am home, I dont always have a smile on my face as I am going through very deep issues myself. The other day I stopped by my moms on my way to work.... and she just look at me and said why are you always so miserable? I broke down and cried.... Everyone always expects me to be happy all the time but really i feel like im dying inside.... and no one ever cares to ask why. Mostly the people like my brother, mother and sister inlaw, dont have a close relationship with me because they are the only ones that see me sad or upset. They cant handle it so they choose not to talk with me which makes me feel like dying even more.