Beth, Just as you and others have mentioned here, why not just have a nice dinner at a restaurant, or a cookout with immediate family!??? That sounds perfectly reasonable and thoughtful enough, in my humble opinion. Reading your experience here with your husband, his wanting to give parents this big party, then renegging on the vacation and the concert, sounds like he is being resentful and now depriving you of your vacation plans??? I could be wrong...
As for driving to Va Beach, I have been there a couple of times, and, like you, driving tires me, plus, it is stressful. I don't want to discourage you about driving there, but there is a lot to deal with in the metopolitan areas getting to Va. Beach, a congested area. Have you checked air prices? Flights from here in WV (Charleston) to Myrtle Beach are very, very cheap right now. At one point it was $39 one way! With the cost of gas, plus the stress of driving, I'd check prices for flights to Va Beach first! (Keep in mind, this is a "driving wimp" talking!
Love
Patty