Dexter is right - depression robs you of your ability to feel self-confident and to have self-esteem. And it is difficult to get around how they are bound together. In my case it has taken an outstanding T combined with medications that work. I literally have learned how to live - how to respond to people - how to do things most folks learn as kids to relate in various relationships from my T. He is more than just a T - he is a mentor and a teacher. One of the first things he worked on with me was to re-unite me with my spiritual self (and I am not talking about religion necessarily). We all have a spiritual self that can help us with our fight over depression and anxiety and feelings of unworthiness. My feeling was of not deserving to live came from me - not from anyone else - yet, I knew I performed well at work, have a responsible job with 17 employees me, depending on me but, although I functioned in that arena effectively enough to get by, I still did not want to live or feel I deserved to live. I am better now, thanks to the meditation I have learned, the medications that I must take on schedule in order to continue functioning, and a T who I see at least once a week and almost call in between appointments for a little reassurance that I can handle the situation I am in - whatever it is. So, you have to get the therapy you need - tell the therapist everything. If you hold back you cannot be helped. You need the professional help of someone who knows how to build your self-confidence and allow your own self-esteem to grow as he (or she) treats the disease. Remember, it is a disease. It is a chemical imbalance in your brain - you are not crazy or insane - you just need help, like most of us here on this forum do. Good luck to you - we all are with you through this.

The vision of your goodness will sustain me through the cold
Take my hand now to remember when you find yourself alone
You are never alone… (John Denver)
Mars