Got drunk yesterday. Up now, at 3am, hating myself. I never drink anymore, but the holiday got me down and I let myself be stupid. Now I am paying for it. Alcohol is not something I should touch.

Holidays make me feel crazier than normal. This time of year is so, so hard for me. I want it to be January.

Glad that I am able to learn from my mistakes. Now, if I can only stop beating myself up.